Hello Again, Jamie here.
I am writing from the air, between Johannesburg and Capetown. 9 of us on traveling makes for an interesting experience. We are seated in teams of 3, 3, 2 and 1. Onikah said before we found our seat that she was hoping she would sit next to a stranger to make it an interesting flight. I was thinking I was hoping to sit next to someone on our team... and I was the odd one out. This ended up working out marvelously as I am seated next to a woman named Sylvia who is 84 years old. When the ladies came by with the food cart, I ordered a roiibus tea and asked Sylvia if I could buy her a cup of tea. She accepted and asked for a muffin as well. So I got to share a short conversation and tea and muffin w a Beautiful South African woman. She is short in stature and pretty small. Her skin is magnificently smooth and she is wearing this sweet little beige crocheted cap/hat and a white blouse and blue striped skirt. She told me she lives in Joberg and is visiting Capetown so that she could see a doctor.
She has children and grand children and great grandchildren. She worked as a secretary and was disappointed when she was forced to retire or "go on pension" as they call it, at age 59.
In order to make ends meet she would fly to Capetown and buy shoes from a factory and bring them back to sell. She said this went over well until "those darn Chinese came in and everyone would buy from them!"
I was probably rude when I asked Sylvia how old she was, but I did ask. She replied, "how old do you think i am?" to which i replied 74. I was thinking she was older however, but i guess ageism made me express a lower number. I was delighted when she told me she was 84 because Sylvia is doing quite well. I said "marvelous! congratulations on your wonderful age." She said that the secret was that when she was younger she went to the gym every day and walked the track and that she loves reading. I said, okay, walking and reading are the way to go? she said yes. The reading keeps your mind working and keeps the devil away from your mind. I laughed and said, "we all need that." I was actually thinking of the bit of malaise I am experiencing today and that yeah, I would like to keep the devil out. So instead of reading, I pulled out my ipad and I am writing.
I love writing about trips, it helps me to reflect further, it helps me to re-understand what things mean, it helps me to feel connected to others. It helps me to keep the devil out by sharing what I feel inside. Almost all of my travel blogs are interpersonal in nature, and quite frequently intrapersonal. Always have to walk the line of over exposure, and I do my best. Of course, if you are reading this and anything feels like TMI, you can always skip over and read another blogger :-)
Bob's Bunk House was an interesting Hostel. I think part of my malaise is that one of the owners, Joan, has cancer. She has cancer and her husband is still smoking around her. I wondered if Joan was still smoking too. I must admit that got me down a bit. I recently met a friend who has been struggling with breast cancer recovery and when she was diagnosed w breast cancer it was found out that she also had pretty serious diabetes and also high blood pressure and high cholesterol. She is going in for reconstructive surgery in a couple of weeks. When I think of her, and now when I think of Joan, my heart clutches a little. I wish to reduce their suffering in any way that I can.
Joan let me use her house phone yesterday and I was so grateful and felt guilty to be on the phone for an hour and invading her personal space. I tried to be as invisible as possible as I waited on hold for Verizon and Apple. I stood instead of sitting and that proved to be challenging when the stress of the phone calls was breaking me down a bit and my feet started hurting too.
While at the Bunkhouse, I was trying to send Joan prayers and love and wishes for her wellness. I did my best. And when we left the house this am, I asked her if I could hug her and she said, "yes, hugs are always helpful," I wanted to show her something. Some kind of physical evidence of my gratitude for her and my empathy and soft heartedness.
The truth is that my heart is wide open right now. Not just because of being in Africa, the motherland; not just because of being humbled and feeling vulnerable because someone took something from me yesterday (my phone). I am trying to be very present and accept all new experiences. I am having to negotiate feelings of fear and a bit of loss of control, with openness, trust and wonder. Sometimes it is tougher than others. I am an emotional person, so I am taking one step at a time.
I was talking w one of the team last night about what it is like to be traveling in such a large group. He was saying it was a challenge to him and that he was used to traveling alone. I was thinking that our group travel provided instant community. Our conversation on the walk home from dinner reminded me that we each have our own style, our own needs, our own narratives and we are introverts and extroverts on this trip. All of us have the ability to self-soothe and manage our individual feelings (so far, heh heh), and we each have our own way of approaching newness, people and joy. What a fascinating micro-experience in such a cool macro experience.
Today we will attempt to drive for the first time in Africa. I was expecting to be able to handle it well...but after Joberg and studying the roads and the turns and the lanes, I must admit that I am less certain about my ability to master driving than I thought. I don't like this feeling. Period the end. So I will either figure it out or I will let go and let the others drive. I don't think of myself as a control freak, but not having control does unsettle me.
I am hoping to see my old friend Dean who started Sonke Gender Justice, while we are in Capetown. I am looking forward to working out at the gym with Gary and hopefully see Dale too. And I hope to see Finch, another trainee of "Man" from when I was in Thailand training in Muay Thai. We shall also tour Robben Island and The History of Slavery Museum. I want to find some interesting crafts to purchase and perhaps some cloth for a friend.
And I hope to stay centered, or keep getting re-centered, when emotion starts to control.
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